Are lawyer results guaranteed?

No. GUARENTEEING RESULTS VIOLATES THE RULES OF professional misconduct. THE RULES strictly bar a lawyer from making a misleading communication and any guarantee of a particular outcome is clearly a misleading communication.
ALTHOUGH WE WILL GIVE YOU OUR BEST PROFESSIONAL OPINION, WE WILL NEVER GUARENTEE ANYTHING. YOU SHOULD BE SKEPTICAL ABOUT ANY ATTORNEY WHO PROVIDES YOU A GUARENTEE.